i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I deserve this hangover.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
