Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
