we have pet lesbian snakes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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