I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
