Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
being pregnant is like rehab
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
