who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
