It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
