I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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