It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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