I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
