i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
