I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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