I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
