I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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