Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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