let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
