Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
