I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
