bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
