There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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