in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
