He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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