It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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