please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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