Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She even gives head with a lisp.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
