I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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