I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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