there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
