I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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