Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
