I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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