i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
