Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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