There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
