and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
