Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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