Having a random hookup so left but love u
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
