how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
