does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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