I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
