Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
