the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
