You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
