the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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