So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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