Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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