we're chasing vodka with high fives
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
