just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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