No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
