Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
