it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he shaved USA in his pubs
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
