I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I understand Curling. That high.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
